Mom

Mom,
I'm sorry..I have forgotten what you wanted me to look up...I found a local charity that helps the homeless people have a thanksgiving dinner on Thanksgiving...I gave $50.00 to the charity. This is the first time that I have ever given to a charity besides the Humane society...
Please tell me again Mom what you wanted me to look up and I'll do it and write a blog about it.
I love you Mom and talk to you soon..
Love your daughter Sarah

Today..Monday

Hello Mom,
Today I took myself to the Zoo(I'll send you and Dad my flickr link so you can see them,as soon as get them up on the computer)
It was a beautiful day here, so much of the animals were out. I hadn't been to the zoo in who knows how long...
Its now been 1 week and 2 days no tobaccoo, and also I've stoped using those pills I told you about...not sleeping as good, but getting there..
So by the time I get to your place, I"ll have had all my addictions kicked(but now I gotta work on my language, before you and Dad get ahold of me)
Have a good week mom and I love you..I hope I'm making you proud of me
Love,
Me

I love you

Mom,
I love you very much and am being good...Everything is going good so far...
I hope you have a good weekend and hope to talk to you soon,
I love you,
Hugs,
Love Sarah :)

Today

It has now been four days sense I quit tobaccoo...I think I've gotten over the withdrawls, but its still going to be hard..but I'm doing it...
I've slowed down with the urges to put something in my mouth, I was getting tired of eating all the time..now its back to normal.
My mood has been good, I've been more cheery, etc. I'm proud of myself..
I hope your doing good Mom, and I love you very much.
Love your daughter

Today

Today was a excellent day! I was born again into Christ...thanks to my Daddy, who helped me.
After I got off the phone with him, I took a long walk..then had lunch with Lisa, then I went grocery shopping, and am going for another walk with Lisa, and then staying home.
Its been about 48 hours or so with no tobacco, its been really hard, but I'm doing it..I made a promise to myself, my mom and Dad and to Lisa, but most inportantly to God, that I"m never going back to chew again...I also cut that pill in half that I told you about Mom, and going to wing myself off of it..I'm slowly changing Mom, but I"m still going to be an little brat deep down..
I've been thinking of you all day, and I love you very much( I hope I don't make you upset enough to take me "fishing" when I'm there..
Talk to you soon Mom,
GOod night

Today

Well, I feel alot better now, that I got all the crying out of my system, and that I told you Mom, what I have been doing...And it makes me happy to know that you and Dad are here for me... I'm about to heat up some dinner(well kinda dinner...frozen pizza), what Dad said you two were having sounded good.
I'm still feeling ancy...but doing better...I played with my cat to help the jitterness get out of me, I also took a long walk too...
I'll let you go for now, though.....Like I said I can't wait to fly to your place....I also can't wait to be hugged by you and Dad..that is what I need now..
But I love you Mom, very much..I hope to hear from you soon...
Kisses and Hugs..

This weekend

Well not much is happening right now..I've put up a new pic(well taken last year) of me and a new pic of Lisa taken last week.
I was down for awhile...my stupid birth mom is giving me trouble again..I'm so good to her, and then she turns around and treats me like hell...I don't get it..I should have never tried to find her in the first place...she is half the reason I have problems now...I do things I shouldnt, just to make me feel better, I'm not talking drugs like marjana(sp), its something else...the only one who knows what I'm doing is Lisa, for now, then I come and visit you and Dad, I'll tell you everything. Lisa tries to help me on things but is clueless half the time...Like you know, I had turned to watching suicide videos to make me feel better, but with your help, I don't watch those..now its something different...
I wish I could leave everything here and move to be with you and Dad, but right now all I can do is talk to you, and in January come to visit, I know that I am loved by you and Dad, and Dad wll set me strait(and you too) on many things...
I guess I gotta get back to work....
I love you Mom alot, I'm thinking and praying for you all the time...kisses from your daughter

Today

Dear Mom,
I had a great day today..I was at a meeting all day at the Humane Society, doing a refresher course on dog walking, cat and dog showing, dog training,etc...I actually paid attention(usually if something goes on for a while I gotta fidget or draw or zoom into space)..but I didn't this time.
So tonight when I finish this blog, I"m going to make a burrito, call my friend April in Oklahoma, and then go to bed..Tomorrow I'll go out for breakfast, do some laundry,and call Dad and you, then go to bed early cause I work Thurday mornings from 4-8am, then that starts my work week.
I hope you have a good night Mom, I love you very much...
When you get a chance Mom can you write me? About anything you want..
Good night

Random thoughts

I havn't blogged in awhile so here I go..
Yesterday I went to the Humane Society to pick out a dog to take to Katu studio to be pet of the week, It was a mad house when I got there, sense we were having our telethon from the Humane society and Katu. I found a dog, which is a beagle named Maggie May. So I took the dog today to Katu. very good dog but it jumped onto my lap while I was driving 32...not good..
Here is a story for you:
A couple of years ago I was inside a cage with a lovley dog, the dog lunged at my face to give me a kiss and my head(I was sitting down) hit against the concrete wall, so hard that it knocked me unconcious(sp), I don't know how long I was out but when I came to, the dog was staring right in my face...so I got up and left.
Another time I was there, I was trying to get out of a cage without the dog coming with me. The cages have something like a doggie door that you can close if you want the dog either in the fromt of the cage or in back, so i got the dog infront of that door, and ran to jump down to slide thru the door, well I missed the door and hit my knee on the wall, so hard that I actually saw stars for a bit...
Well that is all for now..I hope you have a good day Mom and what do you want me to write about next?
I love you

No Santa Paws

I just found out that I don't get to be Santa Paws this year!!!!!!!
I'm so bummed out I was looking forward to it....oh well..
I'll have my pictures taken professionaly so you and Dad can have a recent one of your daughter.
I love you talk to you soon..

Nothing New

Hello,
Well nothing new has happend to me....other than being sick for a little while, but am feeling better now...
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that on Nov. 9th, I get to play Santa Paws again this year(I've been doing this for 3 years now)..Its fun to dress up like Santa, and instead of kids(which they do come but not as often) You have animals on your lap. and also their families too...Two years ago someone brought all of their animals to have their picture taken with Santa(me), that even included a horse, who tried to eat my beard off..then almost ate the hat off, very friendly horse.
Well I gotta get back to work. I hope your work settles down for you Mom and that you can relax some..
I love you very much

Random thoughts

Isn't it interesting on how you do a good job and work hard, and then someone oh say like your boss, turns around and gives someone who has only been on the job fo 3months or so, gives her 4 hours a week, while your still stuck with 36? I've been at this job almost 3 years. My boss, just fired someone and turned around and said, sarah, I"ll get back to you on the new schedule... and I found the new schedule in our box...and I just started crying, it hurt so bad knowing that she gave some young jeck who I hate, more hours when it is I who works hard here, I have more respect from the residents herer than anyone...i do what Lisa tells me to do,etc.
So I'm going to confront her on Monday pofessionaly(by then I'll have my tears out), and tell her what I think of her schedule(oh yea, she(the boss) also scheduled herself to work 2, 4hours a week, when I could be working one of those 4hour mornings, and that would toatal my hours to 40..that would make sense huh?
It hurt me so bad on what she did, that I was crying all night long and couldn't stop..
I can't wait till January and come home to Mom and Dad...
I love you Mom

A favorite song of mine..

Mom,
Here is one of many favorite songs of mine, sense I sound like a cow when I sing, I'll type it out just for you...Its by Johnny Cash..and It's called When the Man Comes Around..here we go.
And I heard as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying come and see and I saw, and behold a white horse....
There's a man going round taking names, and he decides who is free and who's to blame, everyone won't be treated all the same, there will be a golden ladder reaching down, when the man comes around.
The hairs on your arm will stand up, at the terror in each sip and each suck, will you partake of that last offered cup? Or will you dissapear into the potters ground? When the man comes around.
Hear the trumpet, here the piper, one-hundred million angels singing, multitudes are marching to the big kettle drum, voices calling, voices crying, some are born and some are dying, its alpha and omgeas kingdom come, and the whirlwinds are in the thorn trees, the virgins are all trimming their wings, the whirl winds are in the thorn trees, its hard for thee to kick against the priest.
Till armagidon no shalom, no shaloom(Iguess that is what he said), then the father hen will call his chickens home, the wise man will bow down before the throne, and at his feet they will cast the golden crown, when the man comes around..who ever is unjust let him be unjust still, who ever is rightious, let him be rightous still, whoever is filthy, let him be filthy still, listen to the words long written down, when the man comes around...
And I saw in the midst of the four beasts, I look and behold a pale horse and the name it said on it was death, and hell followed with him.
I love you Mom

Proms

This is a blog of my two proms(well 3)..
My first prom was in 11th grade...I remember the boy I asked out was named Robert Loffink..I forgot were we went to, but his mom set it up to where his aunt and him picked me up at my house in a lemozene(sp) like car( side note here..it was cute because one of my elderly neighbors was peaking out her door when this happened)..Then we got to where ever we went to, and we won a door prize..a box of chocolites...afterwards a few of the couples went out to see a movie..my date and I went with them and shared the box of candy..
My senior prom I took my boyfriend at the time(the one who i wrote about, who is hooked on drugs now)...I remember he couldn't stand being there because there was no dancing and no smoking..I don't remember much about that prom..Then we went to his highschool prom..we danced(I don't like dancing, never have never will), Then we went from there to his cousins house who bought us beer, and that is when I learned how to chew(never mix chew and beer at the same time) I thought we were going to tip the car over because my head was spinning from the new experiance of chew, and the beer(side note here...I had been having sips of beer and wine sense I was 3, I have a picture that my adopted mom took of me taking a sip of beer from her brothers beer can, while he was holding it, I had to have been about 2 or 3 at the time)
Well that is all for now...What would you like me to write next Mom?
I love you very much...Kissess

When I was in 6th grade....

Hello Mom,
This is what I remember of when I was in the sixth grade.. I remember still having recess(my favorite thing)..after lunch two of us would be assined to watch over the younger children going from the cafeteria(which was on the other side of the campus which we shared with the high schoolers and the college kids)..I remember one time when I was done with lunch early(I even scarfed my food then), I was the first one on the playground..I climbed up on the monkey bars and layed accross the top of them then reachingunder them I flipped over them and lost my grip, and fell to the ground(I was allways falling), then I remember that we had to go to outdoor school, I hated that..I didn't want to be away from home, and what made it worse was when we had to shower..I protested so much that I ended up taking one by myself(I had gone thru pruberty before anyone else, actually I had hit puberty by the time I was in 5th grade..yep I had gone thru everything) but the people and the school never understood why I was so stubbon as to not take a shower..I didn't care..I remember making a friend to whom I am friends with today(the only person I am friends and keep in touch with from school) April, she and I had alot of things in common, we were both shy(she out grew that but mine has gotten worse to a point), and we are both adopted(we both found our birthparents, mine has been h--- on earth and hers don't care about her...but we had many happy days together, and a happy summer. I'm about to run out of space so I'll write you later...and talk soon, I love you...